Safeguards for your most important Earthly Relationship

Hello friends and family,

Last month we used a safeguard theme for our monthly prayer and praise newsletter.  We received some great feedback on the whole concept and thought we would include this information on our blog as well.  We are so intentional with other safeguards, yet often don't have them for our marriages...so here they are:

Most people have no intentional safeguards in place, yet the Lord says, Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23. Marriage is a heart issue. Your relationship with your spouse is second to none, other than with your Creator. We must be intentional about protecting this covenantal relationship. Some ideas that may help you create safeguards for your marriage are...

 

· Do not allow yourselves to be alone with a person of the opposite sex.  When Roger worked at Youth for Christ, he was asked to attend a leadership meeting in another city.  Only two leaders were scheduled to go (Roger and a woman). His boss expected them to car pool. Roger said they would need to drive separately or take a third person. A third attended the training. Just recently, I had a neighbor man ask for a ride to an appointment, as he had no vehicle. I arranged for my friend to come with us.  I picked her up first, then assisted the man with a ride.

 

· Have discussions before you make any decisions about important issues, such as investments (time, resources, or money), job changes, discipline for the children, etc. If two of you agree on earth about anything that they may ask, it shall be done for them by My Father who is in heaven. Matthew 18:19

 

· Be intentional about what you say in public about your relationship.  Be careful not to say things about each other that would embarrass the other.  Our rule of thumb is: If you wouldn't say it to his/her face, you shouldn't be saying it in public. The bottom line is to be honoring to one another always. With the Lord's leading, Roger and I are improving all the time (and with two sarcastic individuals, that is victory)! 

 

· Be careful not to talk about your "marriage stuff" with a person of the opposite sex.  It just invites misinterpretations and the devil gets a foothold.

 

· In our household, we have given each other permission to ask if someone is a "possible threat to our relationship" and we have used that permission at different times. Then we have an honest discussion and assess the threat. Periodically, it may be good to meet your spouse's co-workers as well. That can help send the message that you are a team.

 

· Husbands, learn to listen to your wife's input when it concerns another woman; wives, learn to listen to your husband's input when it concerns another man. You have both been given discernment that will help protect this important relationship.

 

· Your goal is unity in the marriage. Go places together frequently, especially on dates, and introduce your spouse to everyone.  Even on Facebook, you may choose to have your profile picture include your spouse, so no one has to wonder. Again, it demonstrates that you are a team.

 

· So many outside temptations ooze into our homes.  Be intentional about what you see, hear, talk about, and watch.  Pornography is prevalent everywhere, but you can create safeguards.  Whatever is true, . . . whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, . . . dwell on these things.  Philippians 4:8

 

· The last safeguard is one of the most important.  Pray together daily.  It keeps short accounts and helps to indentify and deal with issues as they surface.  Hope these help.

 

 

Hello FamilyLife friends,

This has been a whirlwind summer.  Natasha is busy with her nanny job, extra babysitting, and several house/pet sitting jobs.  She still has her heart set on another mission trip and we are exploring Argentina, where Scott and Ruth Millar are serving.  For now, she is wanting to attend a young adult Bible study.  Tonight, she is visiting one such group at Smokey Point and we will see where that goes.  As always with firstborns, we are treading on new ground with her.  She is in a courting relationship with a young man, Josiah, and it is all new to us.  We just keep the communication lines open and we pray, talk, grow and adjust.  I can't believe this phase of our life came so fast.

Nathaniel has been introduced to a Christian theater group called the Show and Tell Family Projects.  For those of you that know the Crouch's, you know what a great thing this has been for him.  We have discovered that our son loves the stage.  He also loves tennis and has been going to cardio tennis twice a week.  I love this game; no pads, no concussions, no contact!  His skills are improving, so says coach Gary.  Our friends, Jon and Debbie, started bringing Nathaniel with them to practice and watch tennis matches several years ago and their eldest son even coached Nathaniel for a season.  I love it when the body of Christ just surrounds these young people and raises them up as a family.  Nathaniel has also tried his hand at the landscaping business and has two loyal customers.  He has been our lawn care expert now for several seasons and Brent, his second customer, hired him at the beginning of this summer.  He is learning all kinds of things and growing in stature and responsibility. Thank you Lord.

Nehemiah is currently at Warm Beach day camp and loves it.  Last night he was serenading us with all sorts of crazy, off-the-wall songs that just make him giggle.  We have had our children in these day camps for a decade now.  It is so good for them to go and learn about God and get totally exhausted doing it!  Nehemiah is a passionate young man and he is either bouncing off the walls with excitement, or seriously upset (doesn't seem to have a calm state).  The good news is that we never have to guess what he is thinking and he don't have to worry about him hiding away.  He is passionate about all things and we can see such unending potential. As he grows in Christ and gives his entire heart, mind and soul to his Creator, there will be no stopping him.

As for Roger and I, we are constantly amazed at how much we continue to learn about life, our Lord, and each other, especially in the pressure cooker called "support raising".  We have been privy to some incredible works from the Lord, been introduced to many on-fire Christ followers, and have been taken right down to our knees on several occasions.  We are holding on tightly to our Lord, and your prayers, and we will keep on keeping on.  We have an awesome calling on our lives, building up marriages and families using the FamilyLife ministry, and we know the urgent need.  Thank you for loving us and supporting us through this high-paced, non-stop adventure.